Every word builds | Courteney Bence
Sunday, August 30
Every word you speak is building something. It’s either an atmosphere of faith and healing, or one of fear and defeat. Discover the life-changing power of speaking God’s promises over your marriage, family, and future.
Key scriptures:
James 3:3-8; Ephesians 4:29-32; Numbers 13:30-33; Luke 6:45; Proverbs 12:18; Matthew 26:73
Your words spread. What you say doesn’t just affect you; it affects everyone around you. You must silence the voices of fear around you and decide to put faith-building words into the atmosphere. Remember who your God is and speak the truth of God’s word.
God is bigger than what you’re facing. Don’t let your surroundings change your vocabulary. When you choose to speak life, it doesn’t make the giants go away, but it puts them in their rightful place, and they are not bigger than your God. Biblical words don’t manifest what you want or get God to agree with you; they get you to agree with what God has already promised. Courage is not the absence of fear, but what you do despite fearful circumstances.
Pay attention to where your words are coming from. Your mouth doesn’t manufacture your words, but they expose your heart. You don’t just need a filter in your mouth; you need Jesus to heal the source of the pain in your heart.
Your words reveal who you are to others. When you spend more time with God, your words change. Just like a foreign accent, there should be something different about how you speak. You can't praise God with the same mouth you curse others with.
Introducción
Our words may seem small, but they can have a lasting impact. A simple word of encouragement can strengthen someone, while a careless or angry word can leave a wound that lasts for years. Whether we realize it or not, our words are constantly building something in our homes, marriages, relationships, children, and even within our own hearts and minds.
In this message, Courteney Bence challenges us to stop and consider a simple but powerful question: “What are my words building?” As we study Every Word Builds, let's allow the Holy Spirit to examine not only what comes out of our mouths, but also what is happening in our hearts. May we learn to use our words intentionally—to encourage, strengthen, heal, and speak life to those God has placed around us.
- What stood out to you from Sunday’s message?
- When you think about the last week, what do you think your words were building in your home or closest relationships?
- Can you remember a time when a few small words either built you up or left a lasting wound? What made them stick with you?
Small Words, Big Impact
In James 3:3-8, James, the brother of Jesus, talks about the power of something incredibly small: our tongue.
He refers to it as a “bit” in the mouth of a horse, which can turn its direction and control where the animal goes. He also says our tongue is like the rudder of a ship, which makes it turn wherever the pilot chooses even though the winds are strong. The rudder leads, guides, and even controls a powerful ship. Likewise, the tongue is a small part of the body, but it boasts greatly. Consider how even a great forest is set aflame by a small, tiny spark. The tongue is also like a fire, a world of evil among all the body parts. It can corrupt the whole body. It sets the whole course of one’s life on fire.
Even though the tongue seems small, it can have a great impact. Never underestimate it or think it is insignificant. Even a small sentence or a few words can leave a mark on someone for a lifetime. We can hurt somebody with just a word—a label spoken in a moment of anger or humor—that can scar them for a lifetime. Choose words carefully. Speak words of life and healing, not bitter or hurtful ones. Words linger for a long time. No human being can tame the tongue, but we can surrender our tongues and hearts to the Holy Spirit, and He will help us with the fruit of self-control.
Discussion Questions
How has choosing a right word or kind words helped you or someone you know?
Do you struggle with anger, unforgiveness and a bad mouth? How did Courtney’s sermon today make a difference?
Build, Don’t Burn
In today’s sermon, Courtney asked the question, “Does your speech give you away? When someone encounters you – at home, at work, in the market, or online – can they tell if you have “been with Jesus” (Act 4:13 – KJV)? This is exactly what some religious leaders noticed after Peter and John - “unlearned and ignorant men” - had healed a crippled man. Peter and John’s words had a certain Christlikeness about them that was undeniable. What about you and me – do our words build others up, heal, and encourage? Do people take note that we have been with Jesus? Let’s start today by using our words to build up everyone we encounter, starting in our own homes.
Courtney used the story from Numbers of the 12 spies who scouted out the Promised Land. Joshua and Caleb had a good report while the other 10 saw themselves as grasshoppers! Where did that idea come from? Jesus said it came from their heart for “out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks” (Luke 6:45 – NIV). We often have a mouth problem because of a bitterness problem, an unforgiveness problem – a heart problem. Ephesians 4:31-32 (KJV) says we are to put away “bitterness, and wrath, and anger” and instead to be “kind, tenderhearted, and forgiving.” Let’s allow the Holy Spirit to root out all bitterness and unforgiveness so our words will no longer be like “the thrusts of a sword” but rather “bring healing” (Proverbs 12:18 – NASB).
Like Courtney said today, “Every conversation is a construction site.” Let’s decide to start building differently today – we may not hit a home run the first time; but let’s at least try to get on base. Husbands, tell your wives how gorgeous they look. Wives, tell your husbands how proud of them you are. Moms and dads, build up and encourage your children. See them through God’s eyes – through the eyes of faith. The world tears them down enough every day, so you be the one to build them up every day. In Ephesians 4:29 (NIV), Paul says to speak “ONLY what is helpful for building others up.” Our families need this. Let our words today be instruments of healing, proof that we’ve been with Jesus.
Discussion Questions
- When people hear us speak — at home, work, or online — what might they notice that shows we’ve “been with Jesus”?
- Luke 6:45 says our words come from the heart’s overflow. What practices help us keep our hearts full of grace rather than bitterness or anger?
- Proverbs 12:18 contrasts piercing words with healing ones. What are some ways our words can actively build rather than burn in our families or communities?
CONCLUSION
Every conversation is a construction site. With every word we speak, we are building something—whether it is courage or fear, strength or discouragement, healing or hurt. The choice is ours.
The challenge from this message is not simply to watch what we say, but to start building differently. Before we speak, we can ask ourselves: “Am I trying to hurt, or am I trying to help? Am I trying to win, or am I trying to build?”
Let’s choose to speak words that strengthen our marriages, encourage our children, restore hope, and build faith in the people around us. Like Joshua and Caleb, we can acknowledge the reality of what we face without allowing fear to have the final word. Instead, we can bring our words into agreement with what God has spoken.
This week, let's build differently—with words that help, words that heal, words that encourage, and words that agree with God.
Prayer for the week
“Father, thank You for the reminder that every word we speak is building something. Forgive us for the words that have wounded, discouraged, or torn down. Heal what is in our hearts so that what comes out of our mouths can help, not hurt. Teach us to pause before we speak and to choose words that strengthen our marriages, encourage our children, and build faith in those around us. Holy Spirit, guard our tongues this week. Help us bring our words into agreement with what You have already spoken. In Jesus’ name, amen.”
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